omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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