So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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