hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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