She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
