There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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