oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
