"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
