you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
