I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
