I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
