I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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