12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
