We're facebook friends in real life
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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