We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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