her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
