READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
