actually, I'm a sock model
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
