Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
