we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you had me at cake vodka
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
