I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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