So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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