I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
