i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize