Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
