I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
