Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
At least life still wants to fuck me.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
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