I want to stick my p in your. b.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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