I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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