Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Slut skills are useful in every country.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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