I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
