He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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