thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
