he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Randomize
