I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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