God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
