So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
