Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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