okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
