So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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