what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
