i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Dick very happy bro
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