Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
you made out with another girl for some wings
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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