They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize