Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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