I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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