He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
