I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
