Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize