The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
