I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
