Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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