i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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