this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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