Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
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