who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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