also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
