"it" just moved
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize