I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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