Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
