And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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