a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
