What a fucking waste of an outfit
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
