I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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