I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
