I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
