Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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