so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
