seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
