You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i will never coherently bang her
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Randomize
