singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
All I want is dick and wine.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
