Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
