If i come over, it means nothing
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
