My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
