it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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