better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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