i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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