Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize