he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
